California introduces low-speed Lanes after marijuana legalization

California introduces low-speed Lanes after marijuana legalization
Weeks after legalizing recreational marijuana, California recently introduced low-speed lanes on all major highways. Construction crews widened freeways and major thoroughfares over the last 90 days to accommodate the new lanes.

“It became clear we needed a separate lane to accommodate cars going 35 miles per hour on the freeway,” said senator Alison Ibuyvotes. “The lanes have extra bright yellow markings and feature 3-D signs that are easy to read. Designated rest stops and tourist centers play Grateful Dead 24 hours a day.”

California transportation head Susan Trafficone said the early results are promising. “One driver only took 25 days to travel from Los Angeles to San Diego, using the new slow-speed lane to make the journey. Although they made several stops to surf, smoke, sleep on the beach and talk to passers-by about the demise of good hemp-based hiking wear, the driver made good time.”

The low-speed lanes have their own on and off ramps, allowing drivers to exit safely to surface streets, gas stations, and food stores. “All of our stores have expanded the selection of snacks and Mountain Dew,” said convenience store CEO Alan Dogsonaroller. “We made the changes to meet the increasing demand for food items that could be consumed quickly and easily, without much thought. ”

Other changes planned to meet the needs of marijuana smokers in California include meditation pods in airport lounges, free bong exchanges at local hospitals and an online database of brownie recipes using locally-sourced ingredients.

Joe Ditzel is a humor writer, comedian and really bad golfer.

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California introduces low-speed Lanes after marijuana legalization